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YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE

Ever wonder why people say “I didn’t have a choice?”? I do. No matter what the situation, you always have a choice. It may be that you are troubled by a decision in which you need to make a choice, it may be a situation you are involved in where your choice impacts more than just yourself, or it may be as simple as not choosing at all, but there’s always a choice. And it’s kind of funny that we typically don’t want to make the difficult choice in most cases, and even when you make no choice…you are making a choice just not solving whatever the dilemma is that is in front of you.

In life we are pitched all kinds of opportunities, difficulties, wonders and options each day we are lucky enough to be here a part of the life around us and the life we have been given. And with each of those opportunities comes the ability to make choices. For example, you could choose to accept whatever is dished out, or face your fears and deal with painful issues, resolve hurtful situations you may be involved in, come to terms with things you may be unable to change, let go of the past, or move past a hurt that has been paralyzing you. Likewise, you can express joy and happiness when things work in your life and you enjoy a moment, an hour, a day or a more. There’s always a choice.

You can be a victim and allow the pains of life to get you down or you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go again when you get knocked down. Focusing on the positive things in your life, and yes that’s also a choice; will provide you the ability to celebrate even the smallest of victories when you are challenged to make a choice that may be contrary to what you think everyone else wants you to do. Follow your gut and make the choice that feels right to you. It will rarely not be the right choice!

YOU OWE IT TO ME…..REALLY??

Ever wonder what would happen if you just sat back and waited for someone else to provide your every need in life? Would you survive? Would your dreams come true? Would you be satisfied with your life?

There is a great deal of discussion these days regarding entitlements. From what already exists in our society, like those things promised decades ago and still in place, to what is being established and now touted as the next great thing, entitlements fuel the foreseeable future with the prospect that self-achievement is no longer necessary. For that matter entitlements help to form the mindset that really everything should be given rather than earned. After all, just wait and the right entitlement will come along to “fix” everything for you and you won’t have to lift a finger. Isn’t that what everyone wants?

There was a time when America stood for working hard and achieving your dreams…almost any dream if you set your mind to it, worked for it and challenged yourself to reach for it. Now, the status quo is “what can you do for me”?

America was founded in part on the belief that if you paid your dues and your own way and kept within the letter of the law while working hard you could follow your dreams and achieve whatever you set your mind to. Today, that seems desperately left out of most commentary describing the next “everyone gets some” plan. Just look at the entitlements that are being built as you read this….healthcare for everyone, with the catch that some in America will pay for more than their share to insure those who do not have insurance plus pay their own way; immigration for those who have illegally entered this country and by receiving this amnesty program these same people also receive all benefits applied to legal citizens for which they have paid nothing for to date in our system of taxes because they were/are undocumented. As an example, most illegals work under the radar for cash and therefore do not have taxes withheld (one of the reasons why they are called illegals) which means for the years they have been in this country illegally, they have benefited from the use of American freedoms but have paid nothing toward the cost of same as documented workers do. Pay it back over time? Really? How’s that going to work? College for everyone? There’s another great sounding project, but how is that paid for and who is paying for their college plus others?

Each of these plans continues to grow an entitlement mentality which allows the person benefiting to believe they are “entitled” to these “free things” without any mechanism in place to repay the generosity shown to allow that individual to succeed. Further, when participating in these “free” programs, the entitled individual never feels a sense of debt or obligation but rather a sense that if they can receive this for free, why not find other things I don’t have to work for? Did you work to get where you are today? Did you pay your dues and pay taxes and pay your own way? How is it fair to ask those who have worked so hard for the successes they have in their lives to give more to the “less fortunate” to “allow” them the same opportunities? Shouldn’t the “less fortunate” have to work for their successes too? Why should they be “entitled” to success if they are not willing to work for it?

America is the land of the free and the home of the brave. In my mind that means you are free to work and succeed accordingly. In my mind that means you can accomplish many things and you are free to do so but you don’t just get a golden ticket that says “here I am, make me successful, or wealthy, or happy, or living the
American dream. It’s called the American dream because you dream of being successful/wealthy/happy….not that you are handed those things and never had to lift a finger.

Once again…..I am Overcome By Events!

ALL IN A DAYS WORK

Ever wonder how it can be that one day you have tremendously great luck and the next it seems like everything falls into the toilet and you cannot recover from anything thrown at you? I know I have.

Case-in-point. I had recently regained what I felt was most of my mobility following major foot reconstruction, surgery and rehabilitation/recovery, was exercising again regularly, had greatly improved mobility and activity level and then wham. I fall down a flight of stairs!

I remember thinking as I was falling, oh this isn’t good and wow this is gonna hurt. When I landed at the bottom of an entire flight of stairs in a crumpled mess after hitting my head 3 times, my shins, knees, hips, ribs and back numerous times as I rolled down the flight, I remember thinking, open your eyes and see how bad it is. Once I did, I took a minute to quit shaking and gathered my senses to try to upright myself. Ok, I thought, at least I am still in one piece or I think I am anyway!

The employees of the building came running because the heard the loud crash of me falling down the cement stairs. I am not sure at that point which was more humbling…actually taking that tumble or the injured pride over how ridiculous I looked sprawled out in the stairwell. I managed to get myself to a seated position on one of the lower level stairs. The questions came pouring in…are you alright…what happened….did you hurt anything…do you need an ambulance….should I call an ambulance….and so on.

I was a bit dazed and my head hurt, my foot hurt and so many other things hurt in a dull pain kind of way. I stopped shaking enough and my vision returned from dizzy to a little more stable so I could actually begin to touch to see where I might be injured. Turns out the two things that hurt the worst initially were my recently repaired right ankle and my head in several places. After sitting a spell on the stairs I felt I was capable of getting up and moving down to the bottom of the first floor to go into the offices of the building owner at the insistence of its manager to complete an “incident report”.

We completed that exercise and I started to pack up my belongings in my office to head to the Urgent Care center to determine whether I had anything seriously wrong with permission from the building owners to do so at their expense. Trip to the ER was uneventful, with the exception that it confirmed that I had miraculously not broken anything, but had numerous sprains, contusions and bruising. The ER Doctor suggested I see my foot doctor to determine how bad the foot was…which was now swelling and would not fit back into my shoe…and was a glorious color of green. I paid the bill and headed back home for the day. The Doc was available the next day to see me. He took a look and thought I needed to have further investigation into the now purple, black, green and swollen foot.

The MRI was a comedy of errors as well. First the machine that could handle my metal in my foot broke down and postponed the test being done. Then once they got me into a machine, the position they needed my foot caused me to shake uncontrollably…probably because it hurt so much….and it took them 2 tries to get me into a position they could actually do the test. Post MRI and further consultation, my foot was badly soft tissue injured but there appeared to be no damage to the surgical reconstruction. Thank God! I was put back into my favorite accessory…a walking pneumatic boot, to protect my foot from further damage and to allow me mobility while it healed.

Next hurdle…some two weeks into the healing process, I received a letter from the building owner’s insurance company stating they were denying my claim. Claim? What claim? I didn’t file a claim. I gave them medical bills that they had agreed to pay and nothing more. What?

In closing this post, I would say that I know how lucky I am and I am eternally grateful to the army of angels that watched over me as I tumbled down those stairs. My injuries could have been so much worse, and ultimately I could have had something much more major happen to me and I know that. Both physicians I saw told me they were incredibly amazed at my fortune and the fact that I hadn’t broken a thing in that fall. Given the contusions they could see and feel, the state of my head bumps and my foot, they were amazed that I had fared as well as I had. Funny, me too!

I thank God for the legion help of angels he placed on those stairs to help cushion my fall. As bad as it was, it could have turned out far differently. And in the end, the building owners did pay the medical bills. While I was in the middle of all of it I thought I would never get it all straightened out but once again while I was Overcome By Events, I did get to the finish line able to move on successfully to see what’s in store next!

Bone Stimulator

Doesn’t that sound like something out of the Twilight Zone?  On to the next level of recovery….growing my bones?  This is a whole new world, one I didn’t realize existed, but apparently you can increase your bone strength and repair by using a bone stimulator.  This I had to see!

It was delivered to me in a small box with a demonstration on how to use it.  Once a day, at the same time or thereabouts, I was to use the equipment to assist my bones in healing more thoroughly.  The bone graft and the bone fusion had healed in my foot, but they were not as strong as the doctor would like to see them be at this point in my post op care.

This gadget straps to your foot and its an ultrasound technology.  So, just like the ultrasound you get in the doctor’s office, you put a glob of the jell they use to help with conduction between the skin and the ultrasound wave that is transmitted by the machine.  For 30 minutes I sit with the thing strapped to my foot for the process to take place.

First time I tried it, I thought, hmmm how could this possibly work?  I had nothing to lose, and plenty of down time on my hands so what the heck let’s give it a try!

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Improved Mobility

So, we have the TENS unit, the exercises the tics make you do, and the Doctor’s therapy after you complete the first two.  Seems like a recipe for success and things should return to normal right?  For a period of time I thought I was going to get back to fluid movement quickly.  Time is relative.

Some 5 weeks into therapy I ran out of referral times to continue according to the initial referral approved by my insurance.  This in and of itself was not a huge deal, but it did put a damper on my progress as I navigated the insurance world and attempted to get my trips to the p.t. office extended.  The doctor said I would need at least 10 more sessions.  After several calls to my primary care physician, my podiatrist and finally through my physical therapist the extension was granted and I was scheduled to start again.

I was reminded that my new foot, bionic in nature, was no small thing to integrate into my life.  Both my therapist and my podiatrist discussed with me not to be discouraged because we were 3 1/2 months post surgery and it would take time for me to regain all use and function. Slowly I was becoming more mobile and with every gain I thought, ok, now I can finally move on from this rehab adventure.  Not so!

Mobility is relative.  For example from the days of the wheel chair I was running a marathon.  From the days of the knee scooter, I could now walk upright and though I limped, I thought…great!  Crutches, while giving me more mobility, had limitations.  Like, how do I carry things when I am using two crutches to move?  Or, in the alternative, when only using one, the hobbling was more lopsided and everything I carried —especially liquid—-spilled as a result!

More mobility…well while on the way, still a long way to go to get back to two shoes and no more limping!

 

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TENS Unit

The TENS Unit is a piece of equipment that sends electrical signals to muscles and ligaments in an effort to stimulate them to move properly again.  This part of physical therapy was interesting because they put electrode patches on 4 spots in the area that the signals need to treat and then slowly they increase the strength of the wave being sent to those spots.  Once you initially feel it they tell you to continue until the signal is strong but not painful.  The signal feels something like when your foot falls asleep…tingling in the area where the patches are placed. 

For the first few visits, it was pretty simple.  13 minutes of pulsing signals to assist in nerve repair and ligament extension.  It didn’t hurt, just made my foot tingle.  Actually, after the session was completed my foot felt better for a while.

Then it happened.  Several visits into therapy I found my foot didn’t feel the pulses as well as it had in previous visits.  Hmmm I thought, were the leads in the wrong place?  Had they come off?   Did the machine just quit working?  The timer was set for 15 minutes and the tech left me to listen to my ipod.  About 3 minutes into the process the machine started beeping and didn’t stop.  As I looked over I noted an error message on the machine “circuit overload” appeared.  I called to the tech who came back in, reset the machine and left once again.  This time it gave me a “circuit overload charge too high” message.  As the tech came in once again she noted the message this time and said “did you feel anything this time? Did it hurt?” All I felt was a mild pulse of the machine until it stopped working.  She explained that I had shorted the machine out apparently with too much voltage going into my foot!  Hmmm was that why my foot was twitching uncontrollably?  Was that why my toes were curled partially? Was that why my foot was tingling but I couldn’t feel it when I touched the floor with it?

They switched machines and finished the session….now it was time to have the doctor do his part of the therapy.  If only I could feel my foot!

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Physical Therapy

Do you know why it’s called physical therapy?  Because you need therapy to have the physical portion of the treatment done!  Well, maybe not quite that bad, but seriously, it’s supposed to make you feel better….to get there you have to feel the burn!!! (or so I’ve heard)   By any stretch of the imagination, the process is strenuous as you regain whatever you have lost in mobility, strength and balance from surgery.

Physical therapy was the next step aiding in recovery after my foot surgery.  The Doctor and staff there are a team of professionals whose job it is to make joints, muscles, tendons and ligaments move again after both being repaired in surgery and being immobilized for an extended period of time post-op.  These professionals teach you how to use the parts that aren’t working and rebuild their potential making them functional again.  Considering my foot had been immobilized for 11 weeks prior to starting physical therapy and I came in on crutches with a pneumatic boot on it, I was under no illusion this was going to be easy.

My first day there was a mixture of consultation, a plan being developed and an initial session to determine how much mobility I had.  They took a look at my foot, noting the 5 incision sites, swelling and immobility and after setting the plan in motion, we got started.  How much mobility did I have?  Not much!  My foot moved about five degrees that day and my toes were stuck in a straight out position. 

It was kind of like an out of body experience as I watched my toes not respond to my “come on bend” command.  Were those my toes?  What right did they have to remain immobile when I had asked nicely?  I mean really, hadn’t I followed the Doctor’s orders to the letter?  Shouldn’t I be able to move something by now?  Maybe my brain wasn’t sending the right message or maybe I didn’t have control of my foot any longer.  Clearly the toes weren’t planning on doing anything but twitch painfully and not bend at all.  The foot, that was a whole other story…so they brought out what I’ll save for the next discussion…..the TENS unit and muscle stimulator!

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Crutches

Ever wonder whether it would be fun to have crutches?  Crutches were my bridge to walking upright again.  Hmmm…upright again? Doesn’t that sound like something from Planet of the Apes or ?

Anyway, now I could see an opportunity to walk again. How exciting!  Funny thing, walking doesn’t really enter into it when you start.  There’s the whole hopping thing as you figure out how to balance your body on crutches.  Then there’s the balance thing which can include, among other things, flailing your arms to regain your balance after you lose it.  Ever watched someone when they are trying desperately to remain upright after a balance issue has come up?  The crutches have a life of their own  flying out from under your arms crashing to the floor.  You have the option of slamming into a wall, a door or falling off a stoop of stairs in an effort to save  your dignity and any remaining modesty you might have if you lose your balance. 

So for the first week I practiced getting more stable on the crutches.  The first few times I went out with them I was so shaky and unstable I had little confidence in operating the silly things. Once you get over the armpit ache and the upper arm muscle aches, you learn how to swing yourself more fluidly on crutches (again the swinging from trees thought comes to mind).   Quickly I adapted and moved forward creating options to make my mobility better and better, or at least I thought anyway.  I learned rapidly that some short cuts were not meant for crutches.  For example, getting a crutch stuck under a door is not a good thing.  The first time this happened, I found out that if it’s stuck under the door, you are not going anywhere but out of control and/or down. 

Case in point…I used a crutch to hold the door open thinking I was so smart because it allowed me to enter the doorway without trying to hold the door and move through it with my crutches.  Ha!  I didn’t count on the door catching the bottom of the rubber stopper on the crutch and using it for a door stop.  The next picture was one of pure grace and fluid mobility…in one simple step I flew through the door on my good leg hopping with the remaining crutch as the one stuck under the door fell to the floor with a crash ripped from my arm and left behind.  As I hopped ungracefully into the room, the bystanders watching displayed a mixture of horror and concealed laughter watching the balancing act unfolding.  As I caught my balance and luckily found a wall to stop me, sweating profusely, and exhausted from the disaster unfolding, I looked back at the crutch laying on the floor and thought….”how in the world am I going to get back to that without two crutches?”  The thought crossed my mind that I could hop back to the missing crutch…not a good plan since I was already worn out from trying to get through the door successfully.  Then there was the option of slumping to the floor and give up…not a good plan either.  Finally, I thought maybe if just catch my breath I can come up with a better plan.  Thankfully a bystander assisted and I was again 2 crutched.  Grace, balance, mobility and upright walking.  Not all happening at one time!  One out of four is not so bad….made it through the door at least!
 

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Stairs

So you master the scooting and the hobbling and the daily activities associated with each.  How about those stairs?  Have you ever counted the number of stairs you have in your home if you have a two story home or multiple levels in your home?

I never gave it a second thought when I climbed the stairs each day.  Standing before them now looks like I am about to climb Mt. Everest.  How did I not realize how many steps there were in the house? As the towering ladder to the second floor looms in front of me I think to myself, “wow, that seems like a really long way up to the second floor”.  One, two, three, four……oh it really is a long way up…..16 steps to the landing.  Let’s see, if I use one crutch and sort of hop maybe I can master it fairly simply. 

I lean one crutch on the wall at the bottom, grab the railing and hold the other crutch under the arm on the side of the injured foot, and start attempting to climb up.  Boy is it ever a long way to the top…but I am up for the task!  First step, not so bad.  Second and third alright but by the fourth I felt a searing pain whip up the back of my leg that said…hey, down here, not so happy that you are putting undue pressure on all us nerves. What are you thinking? So, in my quest for freedom and actually finding my way to the top of the stairs without butt scooting involved, I made it to 4 stairs and then sat down and scooted to the bottom defeated for the moment.

About a 1/2 hour later, I gave it a try again.   This time I started up the stairs successfully and as I neared the peak of Mt. Everest, sweating, muscles hurting and in a little discomfort, I realized I was 2 steps from success.  As I continued to reach the last two steps, the crutch fell out from underneath my arm and bolted for the bottom of the stairs as I stood helplessly watching it sail down them.  It was like the crutch had its own agenda and was saying …”ha, you think I am going to help you get to the top, not today!!!!”  As it landed unceremoniously at the bottom I looked at it, turned back to look at the 2 remaining steps to climb, looked down at my good foot and my booted foot and panicked.  Now what?  Stuck not quite at the top, and way far away from the bottom, backwards to be able slide down and butt scoot my way back to the crutch.  Hmmmm…now what?

I decided I could pivot on my good foot and turn around to sit back down and scoot.  What I didn’t count on was the shoe I had on my good foot getting caught in the nap of the carpet on the stairs causing me to flail around trying to regain my balance.  Luckily I caught the railing with one hand and stabilized myself long enough to regain my composure and sit down “quickly” on the stair.   Back down I went on my butt.  A little defeated but not giving up yet.

Undaunted, I tried one more time.  As I climbed up and the top appeared closer and closer, I was determined to get there one way or the other today.  Reaching the landing, I was elated to finally have mastered the process of climbing the stairs! Now, one more problem…with only one crutch and not being stable on both feet yet, while I made the landing, I could not travel farther unless I dropped to my hands and knees because I only had one crutch.  Darn it! Forgot to make a Plan B!

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